i find myself back in a place that i feel i’ve visited not just once, or twice. not just six or seven times. but many more than naaman or elisha. too many to count. and despite the newly acquired cognitive knowledge and understanding that the saints are alive in heaven, supporting me; everyone from saint paul who walked and wrote most of the new testament, to my grandparents who are still alive in christ. from the archangel michael, to authors and artists such as andrei tarkovsky and c.s. lewis are still alive within the heavenly reality that can’t be witnessed from where i currently find myself sat, feeling discouraged, ready to give up, not sure what i’m fighting for anymore. it’s in this space that i’m trying to write myself back into faith. that i’m writing myself back into remembrance of what the battle i am a part of is truly for and against. we are not here to fight each other in flesh and blood, but to war against powers, principalities, and the both diverse and complex hierarchies of evil. for evil is not simply flat and one dimensional. it exists both within and beyond time which is why it’s so hard for mere humans to shake off. we need supernatural help to be free and liberated. and the only high enough dimensional entity that can protect you from the full capacity and interactions of evil, no matter how neutral or harmless they may guise themselves, it’s only the power of the living being that is yahweh, and the holy spirit of the father, through the death of jesus christ that can give us a standing chance of winning the war against our own flesh, and the powers both within and without.
i was moved by the netflix documentary where matthew perry speaks about his life as an addict. two things struck me: “reality is an acquired taste” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oZuK0ri7Y8) and “my brain is trying to kill me”.
it’s not lost on me that today is the day after all souls day, which the church of england celebrate as a commemoration of the faithful departed.
as i sit here and drag myself to try and dip one more time, and circle one more time around jericho, i’m reminded of the real and supernatural support that is available to me via the holy spirit that dwells in me. i can only hope that this time is the last time, but i’m humbled to know i have believed that many times before and come up short.
i’m so deeply inspired to see how hard matthew perry public fought for freedom without the holy spirit and how many lives he saved through that level of humility. i can only hope and pray to embody just a morsel of his tenacity, strength and resilience, whilst i continue to hope and have faith that in my weakness yahweh is made strong.
moses did not get to see the promised land. matthew perry feels like he was gone too soon. i have no true clue what yahwehs plans for my life truly are. am i close to the end or am i just getting started? i have no clue.
“The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.” John 3:8
i pray that everyone reading this would win their battle of liberation - be it spiritual, mental, emotional, physical, psychosomatic, financial, political or otherwise, only if it’s in alignment with yahweh’s well. may all our thoughts, feelings and desires be in alignment with yahweh’s will. and may his will be done, and heaven be brought to earth.
it’s in the name of the father, son and the holy spirit, i pray theses things, amen.